


Grumpy Old Women

by Xacto



Category: Justice League - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, No Character hating (Except Hammer, Two old Ladies getting revenge, and Luthor)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-07-27 16:35:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20049151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xacto/pseuds/Xacto
Summary: When the Widows  of Steve Rogers and Tony Stark Team up to take on the bad guys, Its enough to wake the dead: Who were very happy to rest in peace ,thank you very much. Granny and her friend are causing mayhem. Old Justice Leaguers get a work out. AARP and Avenging don't mix. Poor tony, Poor Steve: what happened to "Rest in Peace"





	1. Chapter 1

Grumpy Old Women or  
The Merry Avenging Widows  
When the “Stop Time” happened, James Rhodey Rhodes was the first to gloat!  
“See, I told you “Back to the Future was right!”  
Before them, a surprised Steve Rogers appeared as the man sitting on the bench disappeared. They finality of their mistakes was there with him. A middle-aged woman holding a sheaf of papers and a sheepish grin.  
“I guess Frank knows that the divorce is final!”  
Then Steve Rogers screamed and clutched his head.

Five years later:

At Lex Corp, the Lawyers and investigators went through the sheaf of papers for the third time.  
“Apparently, your Nazi father sold some stock by telling the poor boy that it was war bonds” the lawyer intoned.  
“After your arrest, the “bonds came due. The gentleman came to cash them out. Lexcorp now belongs to, the lawyer gasped and laughed.  
“The Late Tony Stark”? Jonathon Hammer drawled.  
“Nope, the lawyer gasped between bouts of hysterics. “Howard Stark never bought any stock! The lab rat did! Your company is owned by Captain fucking America! The one with the ‘Super-Brain’ disease!  
Your trying to kill him made him a genius, your father’s blundering made him the owner of the company! Talk about coincidence! Tony Stark must be rolling in his grave.”

45 years later

“Laughing so hard his graveclothes split” the white-haired woman said to her equally white-haired companion as they cackled, sitting between two very large headstones in “Westmore” a cemetery plot cordoned off from Arlington. The widows were putting fresh flowers on the memorials of their husbands.  
When Peggy Carter Rogers and Pepper Potts Stark finally managed to get their breaths. They opened their purses, and each pulled out matching envelopes.  
“So, they send us these papers claiming that everything belongs to them” pepper said waiving hers before the graves. “told us to pack up” Peggy continued. Called us “ Hussies”. We took them to Mistah Wayne, and that reporter friend blasted their claims all over the press.”  
This brought on even more laughter.  
“Judge laughed them both outa court. Told them to prove it. Idiots decide to try and build the last thing those two crazy folks were working on before the “Feud” as it were” said Pepper making quotation marks in the air.  
“Told ya that Steve was getting brain crazy before the “accident.” Peggy said evenly.  
“Hammer and Lex Tech might kill people” Pepper said. “They stole trash, not plans. “.  
“These fools also said that they were told that none of Steve’s technology was to be mixed with Tony’s on account of the feud”  
“Oh, that feud” the women said in serious unison: before dissolving into hysterical laughter again as they helped each other up and headed toward the waiting limousines.  
To the untrained eye, all that was seen were two women : One wearing a military type suit with a matching hat and the other wearing a smart “Suit for elderly female executives”.

No one noticed the flowers blooming. And no one would have admitted to hearing the voices:  
“Steve”  
“Tony”  
“God knows we love them: they are gonna kill por Lex and Jon”  
“Nope, they are gonna use our plans to send men past the moon”  
“Nice way of saying that those poor men are headed for the Loony Bin”


	2. Grumpy Old Women: chapter II. Demonstration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lex makes the mistake of thinking he and Hammer can prove their ownership by traveling through time. Never let it be said that Pepper Stark and Peggy Rogers were not there to warn them…… Revenge is a dish best served with incontinence support.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony dies years later, Steve and Peggy return. Steve has old LexCorp Stock. Steve is now, a genius. Peggy works for Shield and chair the Avenger/ Justice League project. The Justice League turn out to be the real Infinity Stones. That means that anybody killed by the pieces, has to return. Bruce Banner and Natasha marry and have a fine winery.

Grumpy Old Women  
Or the Merry Avenging Widows  
Chapter II  
Demonstration

Lex makes the mistake of thinking he and Hammer can prove their ownership by traveling through time. Never let it be said that Pepper Stark and Peggy Rogers were not there to warn them…….

“I got most of the notes from Steve Rogers” Lex ranted. knowing he was lying. “If we successfully complete the time experiment, we will be home free in front of the judge. We will demonstrate this at the new Avengers/ Justice league training grounds.”  
An obviously pregnant Morgan Petersen confronted them. “You shouldn’t try to demonstrate technology you know nothing about. She was accompanied by furious Scott Lang.  
“Such Naivete “Lex gushed. When she sees the progress, we have made”  
“She will feel at peace: knowing that she warned you” was the response behind them. There is her old Shield uniform was Margaret Rogers.  
“Still trying to steal our work” she said, her tone dripping with amusement. “Should I call Mrs. Stark? She is always good for a laugh. You will have to find another place to blow up half of the world.  
Lex Swore. He quickly decided on the new NASA facility. The announcement drew everybody: including an aged and raving Rhodey.  
“Those ass wipes should be allowed to blow themselves up” He hissed as the two men strutted in their time travel suits. He gasped at the poor workmanship and he knew what would happen next. They would claim success. Then he remembered what happened. A grin spread across his face as Scott Lang and Morgan Patterson, and Walter Rogers confronted Lex and Paul  
“This travesty needs to be stopped” This machine was built on faulty and stolen information.”  
“Mr. Lang, Please sit down!” a tech from Lex Tech and Hammer Industries spat.  
“Is this true?” A stern voice asked. The voice belonged to Captain Diana Prince  
“Mr. Lang attempted this very experiment and failed.” The Lex Tech technician explained.  
“If this experiment fails”, Diana continued, “I will know that Mr. Lang is not lying.”  
Peggy seemed edgy during the grandstanding of Luthor and Hammer. She then put on her glasses. Pulled out her I-pad and began hunting and pecking. She looked and grinned. Standing up she nudged an enraged Morgan Stark. “Do they sell depends around here, honey?” she said in her old lady’s voice. Morgan Stark looked aghast. Then she grinned.  
Momma’s not gonna bring Dad’s old GPS is she, Aunt Peggy.”  
“Nope” But she will be her as quick as your dad was if you can point us to a good drug store.” Peggy continued.  
“Fourth and Dupont” Morgan whispered.  
Peggy typed it in.

“We designed the tech that allowed the Avengers to return with the “Infinity Stones” The sky hazed, and thunder rolled out in the distance.  
“Uncle Thor is not the only one who knows a liar when they see one” Morgan whispered to Walter.  
“Turns out the Infinity Stones were people” a Reporter’s voice boomed out into the audience. Hammer whipped around to see the editor of the Metropolis Ledger: Clark Kent. Clark continued: “As I remember, it was Stark Technology that got the pieces of the Stones and eventually Rogers Technology that returned them to their owners and brought his wife and his younger self to our time and age!” What Lex Luthor and Paul Hammer are doing is trying to rewrite history. Mr. Banner told all of this to the press moments before he almost fell victim to radiation induced pneumonia: a disease that Lex Luthor claimed to have cured. I suggest we step back from this latest travesty. Neither Mr. Rogers nor Mr. Stark are here to assist us currently. Their widows were not asked.”  
The group hastily left the grandstand. Conspiracy theorists, and tabloid reporters ignored Clark and moved closer.

Lex Luthor and Paul Hammer climbed into their suits and stood in front of the “ Time Ray” as they called it.”

The men both pushed buttons attached to the suits as the Tech turned on the machine.

The men disappeared. Two seconds later, when they returned, Lex had grown something from his head. Their helmets were gone. Paul noticed that his suit was sprouting tentacles. The technician quickly turned knobs. Both men disappeared. When they returned both were battling tentacles and, were a few years younger.  
The machine roared to life again. Rhodey remembered what had happened. He strode to the power source and turned it off. Both men returned. Their suits were torn.  
As if on cue an older Black Camaro roared to the grandstand.  
Mrs. Stark quickly stepped out.   
Peggy ran to her they immediately ran to the trunk and pulled items from a bag.   
Then they ran to the source of the screams. By that time, there were screams.

The sigh that met them made it hard to hide their amusement. Both men showed obvious terror. Their suits had caught fire. Although no one was injured, the suits were little more than rags. Without warning, the men continued to scream as their bowels and bladder gave way with a sickening slosh and dripping to the astro tile.   
The women ran up to them. They knelt and, with sincerity in their faces and mirth in their eyes. Pepper had pulled out of the bag clearly labeled “Depends” Peggy Rogers pulled out a box of “Tennex Wipes for Sensitive Skin.” The women presented these to the two men as sirens wailed.  
The picture of the two women offering incontinence diapers and wipes to the two obviously soiled men made the front page.  
Clark made sure to add the comment from Pepper Stark:  
“Well, when folks mess with EPR paradoxes, there are frightening consequences.” Peggy responded sternly to the press. “and Mr. Lang tried to warn them. But then again, Mr. Lang worked with Mr. Stark and Mr. Rogers.  
Peggy continued: “If these men had actually invented the process they were trying to demonstrate, we wouldn’t have been treated to the shit storm we were treated to today. Ladies and gentlemen of the press: this is what happens when people try to lay claim to greatness.”  
The press and the military applauded.  
The Daily Ledger made a point of making the comments and the picture the front page and banner. Time Magazine used the article and paper as the cover of their magazine:  
“Grumpy Old Ladies to the Rescue”

“Both women were technical and national security geniuses. However, they were not prepared for the corporate thievery of the new technology robber barons. It’s a good thing they had the memory of the union between their husbands to rely on. In the end, that union, and not the supposed feud is what saved their companies. Judge Hastings just put the nail in the coffin for Luthor and Hammer. Tony and Steve would be proud.

The Women in question were again, sitting by the graves regaling their adventures to the two people they knew were listening.  
“You should have seen them” Pepper stammered as she poured another glass of Banner’s and Romanov. You would have thought Lucifer was on their tails.”  
“Of course, those tentacles had me a bit convinced that maybe it was Cthulhu or Carol’s kitty cat come to get them.” Peggy giggled. Then she stopped. There was a moment both women were sure that they could hear the mock horror emanating from the grave’s inhabitants. The women were still. Then they sighed. They helped each other stand, replace the flowers in the urns. Put pictures of Morgan’s first child: a boy: Steve Patterson and a picture of Walter Roger’s first child also a boy: Anthony Rogers.  
Then they helped themselves up the hill to two waiting limousines.  
The curious would have seen the flowers bloom. If they listened closely, they would have not heard worried men. They would have heard laughter.


End file.
